After my last post melt down, I have re-set my mind. I, for that moment in time, let the negative grab hold of me, and seize me up with panic and fear. What a dope, it happens, but I forgot the most important thing. What is the most important thing? You can't get blood from a stone. I have no money, so they can't take what I don't have. So the medical bread line will begin. The first bill to arrive will get the $5 a month payment and the rest will have to wait in the bread line until it is their turn. My plan is to ask for assignment. Hopeful that the medical team will understand and have mercy on us. Next, pay off those who won't take assignment. Then the next phase is to up my chanting. Perhaps have a toso somewhere. Also, to ask you all to pray for us. Not just my quick recovery, but for Ed to find a great paying gig, perhaps a National Network Commercial that runs and runs and runs and runs, followed by a regular on a tv series that is super successful. for now, that is what I envision. 2010 is coming and things MUST change for the better, because we are at the bottom of the pit. So we have no where to go but up.
I've done my belly aching, my fretting, now it's time to fight back. I cannot and will not give in to the negatives that pull at me from Hell. It is the Devil's way of shaking Faith. I almost forgot my Faith. Faith that everything happens for a reason, that everything will get better, that the power of prayer is powerful. It is the Christmas Season, after all, and miracles happen. I'm here, and getting better, and I've lost weight. It's all good, even though the path has been more than rough. We will get through this, better for it.
Ian is a great kid, and has stated that he will do School Lunch to help us save money. The sacrifice is great, remember School Lunch? UGH! He is my hero. He continues to surprise us with his compassion and sense of family. I am so lucky.
Sarah's show is a huge success, and last night's show was hysterical. How ironic that Phil offered to take the family to Italy as an apology for falsely accusing the kids of lying, since that is where Ed is always promising to take me. God I love this show. I'm so happy Sarah is on my favorite show.
I have my bearings back, found the compass, got my footing again, etc, etc, etc. Feeling better in my mind. That is the most important news of the day.
Nite!
Light and Love!
Melissa
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