CHEMO #5

January 7, 2010 Thursday

So I had my 5th chemo treatment on Tuesday the 5th of January. The treatment went really well, and I was out in record time. I suppose the benefit of being so sick with TWO colds during Christmas and then right after New Years. I went by myself that day because Ed had to go to the Dentist to get his tooth pulled, so I brought my reading material and read until the Benadryl kicked in and made the letters swirl on the page. Then I broke out the Ipod and drifted in and out listening to music. Had a little bite to eat and suddenly the treatment was done, and I was out by 3pm. Record time!!!! And I almost cried, because it dawned on me that chemo is almost done. ONE more and then the poison stops and the nausea fades, the IBS stops, and my hair will begin to grow back, no more wigs soon enough, healing begins, I get a break for a few weeks before radiation starts for three weeks, and then I only have to go back every 3 weeks to have the Herceptin. My journey is about to shift to a different path. The journey is still a long one, but it will begin to get easier. I'm winning! I'm so happy! I have inspired myself, because when it all started I didn't believe I could do this. Take care of myself instead of everyone else. But I'm doing it, and learning a lot about myself in the process.

Just know that if I can do this, God forbid you should face this in your life, know with certainty that you can do it too. Stay positive, keep your sense of humor, and remember to be kind to yourself, don't push yourself, and delegate. Remember why you're here, to live, to love, to care, to give. Without you, there is a hole in the Universe. Without you, something is missing. Without you, there is a little less love in a sometimes cruel world. You are important, and you matter, and you are important to the fabric of the world.

Friends have been lost this past year, and holes have been made in the fabric, but the memories never fade, and the love remains. So to those who have lost a friend to cancer, a family member, a classmate, a co-worker, they are still here with you, sitting at your shoulder, guiding you, protecting you, and whispering " I love you" whenever you feel a gentle breeze.

I may feel crappy today, but I am happy to be here, nausea and all. Happy New Year, and the days will just get better from here leading to the best year ever! And when the journey is done, this journey, a new one awaits me, and I will not be afraid to move forward. I have learned I'm stronger than I thought. And defeat is not in my vocabulary anymore. Strike it from yours as well.

Nite!

Light and Love!

Melissa