Yesterday was my first day of "Herceptin only" treatment. It was President's Day and the waiting room was pretty much empty. I went in right away, only to have my port decide that it didn't want to work. So my nurse flushed and flushed, and gave me heparin and there I sat waiting for the hep to work. Ten minutes later...the port worked, barely. She had to draw manually, grr. When that happens, my port aches the rest of the day, and no surprise, still aches this morning. After drawing my bloods, I headed upstairs to Dr. Speyer, and by the time I got up there, I had developed a cough; a nagging tickle in my throat that wouldn't let go. grrr. Saw Dr. Speyer and we discussed the road forward. Good news. My Herceptin treatments will not be 90 minutes in length, they will be 30 minutes. Yeah! He assured me that my gut issues, my jerky leg syndrome, and my exhaustion will get better, but couldn't give me a definite timeline, as each person is different. It could take up to a year. Bah! I will shorten that. Just wait and see. So after a nice Doctor/Patient chat, I headed back downstairs where Ed was waiting for me. I got hooked up to the Herceptin and within 40 minutes I was done. I didn't have time to finish even one chapter of my book. I was sprung for "good behavior". It felt so odd to be leaving before Noon. But what was odder? was leaving without feeling high, disconnected, and flushed. Ed offered to pull the car around, but I chose to walk to the car 7 blocks and 2 Avenues away. I was so happy with a spring to my step. Energy! Life was great, and when we got to the car, I saw it first. A Parking ticket. grrrr. Ed had not realized he parked in a No Parking anytime except on Sunday zone. All of the cars had tickets. No doubt everyone thought that parking rules were suspended. Ed got duped. He was very upset, but I was "Whatever. It happens" I refused to let anything pull me down from the natural high of feeling good. We pulled away from the curb turned the corner and the car shuddered and ran out of gas. I just started laughing. Ed was furious! Here we were across the street from Bellevue Hospital, out of gas, no power steering. Stuck. I called AAA and requested assistance, and while we waited for gas, drama broke out in the middle of the avenue. A man had collapsed in the the crosswalk, firetrucks blocked the Avenue to protect the man. Only one lane was open for traffic, and you guessed it, it was the very lane we were stuck in. So we aided and abetted the traffic jam on 1st Ave. We had several police cars stop by and tell us to move..."Sorry, we are out of gas, can't move. We are waiting for AAA to help us. Sorry." We popped the hood on the car, and still Police cars kept stopping to tell us to move. "Sorry, can't. Out of gas." Finally the AAA guy arrived and gave us gas, and we pulled away, Ed fuming, me laughing. It wasn't until later that I thought "My God, for once, I wasn't the first to run out of gas." The car had assumed the role.
Later, I went to the show with Ian, because a good friend I rarely get to see was coming, and also Ms. Lynn Redgrave was coming to see the show. An honor to have her see my son. I sat in the audience watching her more than the show, to be honest. I watched to see if she liked the show. She did. After the show, Cynthia (the mom in the show) introduced me to her. Star struck to be sure. I thanked her for her work over the years, but more importantly, I thank her for her bravery in sharing her breast cancer journey through her book, Journal, a photography journal produced by her daughter and herself. Her simple honesty and quiet strength and her daughter's candid photos of her mom facing the reality of this insidious disease were awe inspiring. Her entries hit home with me several times. That Broadway/Lafayette subway stop with the mountain of stairs challenged Ms. Redgrave the same way they challenged me. Heart pounding, legs zapped of strength, energy sucked dry. We shared a common bond in those stairs. I told her I had the same experience on those damn stairs and her eyes lit up as she knew their was someone else who shared and understood those stairs. She was inspiring. So beautiful, still. I left feeling so inspired by her strength grace and beauty. My inspiration just keeps going on and on. Who will inspire me today?
I love waking up today and not feeling disconnected. What will today hold for me? The weather is yucky, but it will not bring me down. I feel too good, and this is just the beginning of the road to GREAT!
Nite!
Light and Love!
Melissa
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