It is the Saturday before I begin Radiation. I'd like to say I'm up early and all is quiet, but it's not. I am up early, and only Niki, my little white and grey cat is awake with me, curled up under a blanket on the couch giving herself a bath. Blue is perched high a top a box in the living room, Ed is snoozing away, Ian out like a light in his loft. It could be peaceful, right? No. Outside on the Avenue Con Ed is hammer jacking away at the street, disrupting what could be a peaceful Saturday morning. I sip my Earl Grey Tea and think about Monday, and wonder what will it be like? I'm excited, anxious, and very ready to get it going. I'm hoping that I won't burn my skin. I never was one that did well in the sun so I'm nervous about that. I was the girl at the pool in the bikini with the white t-shirt hiding all my assets, and with my nose smeared with zinc. Definitely a social killer, and a big reason boys didn't look at me like they did my younger sister, Erin. Erin was thin, leggy, and tanned with ease. Me? Fair skinned, short and slim, but next to my sister I always felt fat. I always burned, and peeled, and burned again. Now, I accept my fair skin, and am glad I hid from the sun, because I look like I'm in my 30's and Erin looks likes she's...well we don't go there. Suffice it to say, I am the elder and since we were in our late teens - early 20's I was the one who always got carded. Ah, the sun is a false friend it gives you a lovely tan, but steals your youthful skin, leaving you to look 10 years older than you are.
My son's show closes tonight, and what a great run it's had. He's learned so much, and it seems to have recharged his love of acting. So tonight we will watch one last time with pride with his Aunt Sally and Uncle Pentii, his Godmother Suzanna, and many other friends in the audience. My fair son, who burns like me, and is tall like his father.
I'll go to the Culture Center tomorrow to Soka Spirit to give me extra courage to face Monday's first treatment, and chant hard and long. I've been asked to give my experience again on Tuesday at a Discussion Meeting so I'm very excited about that. Even my hubby, Ed will attend the meeting to support me. He is not a spiritual man, but little does he know he is full of spirit. He is so loving and giving, and I am the luckiest gal on the planet. You know you are loved when someone (Ed) makes you a Butsadan for your gohanson, goes to hear you give your experience to a room full of Buddhists, and makes you oatmeal, does the dishes, and everything else. I am so blessed.
Today is a beautiful day, and I intend to enjoy it. I hope you have a beautiful day, and that you have the opportunity to tell the people you love just how much you appreciate them.
Nite!
Light and Love!
Melissa
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