ED'S BIRTHDAY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!
I've been too busy to blog these past few days; I've been out enjoying the nice Spring weather, dancing, and then there is the bad...doing taxes. UGH!
My tests went well on Wednesday. My eye exam was very interesting. I had good and bad news. The good ~ I don't need my reading glasses now. A hidden benefit of chemo. Somehow the chemo corrected my aging vision. Huh! go figure. The bad news ~ my near-sightedness has gotten worse by .75. This explains why it makes little difference in wearing my glasses or not wearing my glasses. I can't see. HA! Everything else was good. So I picked out a new pair of glasses that make a statement. Black! I'm tired of my wire framed glasses.
I moved on to my Muga Scan at NYU Medical Center and I forgot how hard it is to hold your arms over your head and not move at all for 30 minutes. 30 Minutes felt like hours. It didn't help that the tech for the day wasn't feeling well; his nose was raw from blowing his nose and he said it was allergies...really?... I think not. He had a cold, pure and simple. At any rate, I tried not to breathe too deep around him, I don't want that "allergy". He didn't speak much, not at all during the procedure, and he kept leaving the room. I don't know about you, but are they suppose to do that when someone is laying on a narrow table and undergoing a procedure that requires the person to lay perfectly still? Several times I was left alone, and in those moments panic would set in. Questions that raced through my mind ~ Where is he going? When will he be back? Is something wrong? Did he go to get a doctor? My shoulder is killing me. Would they notice if I moved my arm? Better not move. When is he coming back? Oh there he is, where did he go? Why is he leaving again? My shoulder really hurts now. Where is that guy? Why doesn't he speak to me? When is this test going to be over? There he is. Should I ask how much longer? If I speak will that constitute movement? Better not talk. When is this test over? There he goes again. What if he doesn't come back this time? I'm locked in here, no one would know if he left. Is that the combination lock clicking? Thank God, he's back. Is it over? My shoulder, I can't feel my arm or my fingers.
Finally, the table began to move and he spoke. "You can lower your arms, you are done." I went to move my arms, and nothing, frozen in place. "I said, you can lower your arms, you are done." I'm trying. First my left arm moved, but moving my right arm was not only difficult, it was extremely painful. OIL CAN! OIL CAN! Finally, with a pop, my shoulder gave way and with my left hand I was able to move the arm that was numb and pinned and needled. I couldn't have left faster. This was my second Muga, and as I think back on the first one, I remember the tech being more supportive. He talked me through it. Kept me calm. Let me know when I was halfway through, and made me forget about my arms being uncomfortable. I am going to say that because this guy had "allergies" he just wasn't in the mood to talk, and was leaving the room to blow his nose. For that I forgive him for abandoning me. Ed wants to report him, I say, let it go. It was the first time that Nam myoho renge kyo didn't help me much. The pain was overwhelming. I suppose it helped me from panicking completely and trying to escape, which is exactly what I wanted to do.
My arms ached for two days. I went to Luigi the next day, and it felt so great to move. I so appreciate Luigi. He is so inspirational. The friends I have made there are invaluable. When I got there, only three people had signed in, and Luigi was concerned. He said, "What will I do with only three people in class?" I said, "Dance." As it turned out the class filled up, no doubt people enjoying the beautiful weather. I never feel so free as I do as when I am dancing.
Friday was spent doing TAXES. I need say no more on that subject. One of life's must do's that no one enjoys doing. Blech! My reward...going uptown to watch Tami's dance company from Japan do a private concert for Luigi and fellow classmates. Luigi's 85th birthday is today, same as Ed's 62nd. They flew all the way from Japan just to perform for him. What a great afternoon. The gift was priceless and Luigi was filled with joy and pride. To see his technique passed on to dancers as young as 10, and having them execute it so perfectly, was awe inspiring.
So today is Ed's birthday and Luigi's! Two men I love dearly and have given me so much. Zodiac twins. Today is Ed's day. We are going to a movie and then whatever he wants to do. Tonight we will celebrate with friends in the West Village.
I feel good. My old strength is beginning to return. I'm getting new glasses. I'm going back to dance class. The taxes are getting done. Sounds like my Winter is leaving. Welcome to my Spring. I'm back.
Nite!
Light and Love!
Melissa
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