Well, it's been confirmed. I have chemical depression. I'm seeing the shrink on Friday to have it fully evaluated. All the nights of hot flashes keeping me awake, depriving me of precious sleep; the chemo drugs eating my brain; the stress of my life has pushed me down the Rabbit Hole. The good part of it all is that I had what I feared confirmed. I'm not nuts, just chemically messed up. Totally fixable. This is such a relief! I now understand my blues, my crying for no reason, my bursts of frustration!, my lack of energy and physical aches and pains.
Thank God!
It seemed the harder I tried to be happy and sunny, the deeper I'd dive. The uncontrollable blue I felt was inescapable. Thank God I have the team I have. Nip this right in the bud. I'm starting meds today, to help me sleep, stop the hot flashes, and hopefully make these crazy blues blow away with the wind. I feel very much like I've been grounded by Volcanic Ash. I just have to be patient and wait for the wind to shift and carry the toxic plume away. Much like the travelers (Matt) must do in London.
On a higher note, I went to my Intro meeting for the Avon Breast Cancer Walk last night. I am officially registered, and within the next couple of days I'll be able to build my web page so people can start to donate so I can walk in October. I need a minimum of $1800.00, so if all of my friends donate just $20 I'll get there in no time!
I'm going to start training in May and walk my little butt off to get ready for October. I have some friends who want to join me and I would love to have a big 'ol team. Here is the scoop, if you want to be on my team, you have to register as well and you will need to raise $1800.00 as well. If you do join my team and you are having trouble getting the donations and I've met mine, I will ask donors to donate to your page. It's no different if it's to me or you or anyone else. The idea is to raise as much moola as possible to stop Breast Cancer in it's tracks. It comes in many forms, so it's hard to nail it down. So more and more money is needed.
I would like to name my team "Never Stop Moving" in honor of my dear sweet Luigi, my dance teacher, my mentor in life, and loving friend. So if you want to join me, let me know. You can register for $65 or if you go to an intro meeting you can register for $45. I have forms. If you can't walk for any reason, that's okay, because you can support me and the team by donating. Any amount is welcome. Large or small. Doesn't matter.
This walk = my kicking Cancer out the door. Help me kick it's ugly ass as far away from me as possible.
Still fighting, still dancing, still walking, to honor all that have come before me and survived. For those who still fight, and those who have lost the fight. For those who will be given bad news. I fight. I fight for me.
Nite!
Light and Love!
Melissa
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