FOLLOW UP TO INNER DEMONS

April 19. 2010 Monday

Sorry I haven't posted in days, but I've been busy taking the advice I got from Valerie. And that advice was.....

"Remove head. Sit in front of Gohonzon. Chant Nam myoho, renge kyo."

Good advice. I took it. I did just that. I feel better focus. I still fight the inner demons of 'blue', my joints have been aching and after sitting for any length of time, I'll stand and walk like a crippled old lady until my joints unfreeze. My hips ache all the time. Perhaps it is the effects of the steroids finally showing. I'll ask tomorrow when I see Dr. Speyer.

Sarah is back in LA and her boyfriend is stuck in London. So the stress has shifted to when is Matt returning. I'm off the hook. I still have to make appointments for Sarah to be seen by the doctor in May. But I have taken the approach of Remove Head. Sit in front of Gohonzon. Chant.

I said good bye to Sarah Thursday, and miss her too much. The doctor feels she is still too healthy to transplant so she got a reprieve. Now she must work very hard to remain healthy until next year. Chant. Chant. Chant.

My son's report card was that of a great student. He is amazing. He's been through so much this past year and yet he maintains A's and B's. I'm so proud of him. I had Saturday to myself. Ian had Kung Fu and Ed went to Yale to work on a reading of a new play. So I spent the day doing nothing but chanting. A good day to de-stress.

Sunday Ed and I headed out to Staten Island to celebrate his cousin's 80th birthday. When you get two or more Hyland's in a room there is bound to be much laughter, wild tales, lots of food, and lots of drinking. Always a super fun time. It was exactly what the doctor ordered. Happy Birthday Tom!

This morning I woke to find out that my friend Beverly, whom I've mentioned here before, and asked for prayers for her recovery, has received the worst blow. The dreaded, "You have 6 weeks." This rocked my world this morning. She is younger than I am, and has fought so hard, and nothing has worked. Sometimes this world is just plain and flat out UNFAIR! I really was looking forward to meeting her. Now it appears that this will not be possible. She was so brave to post her news on her caringbridge blog. So I ask that if you are reading this, please say a prayer for Beverly. She is fighting to the bitter end and will not give up, so pray to give her strength to prove the doctors wrong. Pray to help her find peace. Pray for Beverly because she is an Angel on Earth. Pray because she has earned your prayers.

Hug the people you love, and let them know that you do. If they are miles away, call them and tell so. Go. Look in the mirror and remind yourself that you love yourself. That you are worth it. Then go out. Live your life. Have fun. Don't forget to laugh really hard at least once today. Laughter is contagious. Go spread it.

Nite.

Light and Love

Melissa