NYC got its big snow storm, the first of the season last night. I slept fitfully through the night, up and down, head of the bed, foot of the bed, so forth and so on through the night. I gave up at 7am and got up. Ian had a friend spend the night, so I tried to tip-toe around in my feeble attempt to not wake the lad. It didn't work. So the boys got up, I made banana pancakes and the boys devoured them. Then I was spent. It was 9am and I was done for the day. The snow was beautiful, and as always not as much as predicted, but lovely all the same. It made it feel a bit more like Christmas. Ian and his friend headed out for the day, while Ed and I tried to do laundry. Tried, the operative word. The snow gave everyone else the same great idea, DO LAUNDRY! We finally got it done late in the afternoon. Just another boring day here at the Hyland house. But with the boring comes the predictable, Chemo Sunday. The chemo burn had returned, and left me begging for mercy. I'm so tired of being tired, so tired of feeling the burn, so tired of the predictability of pain.
This week is going to be difficult on two levels, one it's week 2 of chemo treatment, always physically hard and draining, and two because it's Christmas week and there will be no "normal" Christmas here. No tree, no decorations, no presents, no money, no nothing. Nothing but stress if we let it in. Something I fight with every fiber of my being. This year, it will be more "Gift of the Magi" than "The Santa Clause" Back to simpler things, like love of family, and home baked goods, sharing laughter, glad to be all together. Perhaps the LIFE game will make an appearance, perhaps this time, I'll win the game. That would really be something. WE have the Wii, and lots of movies we can curl up to. Lots of hugs and kisses, maybe some chocolate, for life just can't be the same without it.
Back to basics, away from the monetary. Enjoy your Christmas, and don't feel bad for us, it's just a reality check. Time to slow down and realize what's really important. My daughter arrives in the morning, my son loves me, this I know, because he hangs on me like a monkey. My husband dotes on me with extra concern, and though he tries to cook, it always falls this side of good, but it's dinner, and I love him for the attempt. My friends are worth everything I own, old and new, and I have two cats that love me no matter what. Cancer would like to think it has robbed us of Christmas and all that we hold dear, but Cancer would be wrong, dead wrong. It took our money, it's strained our lives, but it hasn't taken what is most important to us, and that is family. If anything, it's made family stronger, better, more flexible. With faith anything is possible, remember that. Don't be afraid to feel bad for yourself, just don't let it linger too long.
On two sides of one coin, life and death, this week, a new friend made it through her surgery, and went home today, and for that I'm so eternally happy for her and her family; on the other side of the coin, our dear next door neighbor suddenly passed away from complications that arose from his own battle with cancer this week, and has left us and his family devastated. It seems unfair that one must die and one gets to live, but life is seldom fair on the surface. Pray for those who have passed on and for their families, but also pray for the continued healing of those spared by the fickleness of death.
In the words of Tiny Tim ~ "God Bless Us, Everyone!"
Nite!
Light and Love!
Melissa
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