Today is the day, in just 1 hour and 45 minutes I will be getting the last dose of poison. My last chemo. The last high, the last of feeling disconnected, nauseous , IBS'd, and crappy. Soon I'll be able to have OJ, Tomatoes, pizza, marinara sauce. I'll be able to have a glass of wine soon. My food palette will once again be full of flavor and color, instead of the boring versions of white, over cooked green, and yellow-orange. A rainbow of flavor!!! I get choked up just thinking about it. Things that will change when I can eat whatever I like. No more fries, okay, maybe once and a while, I don't want to come off like Bristol Palin with the never thing, that would secure my failure. Carbs, I don't really care to see another a piece of white bread again. Pretzels, graham crackers, soda crackers, apple sauce, grape juice, apple juice, mac & cheese, chicken pot pies, mashed potatoes and gravy (except at Thanksgiving) ~ Good bye for now. Hello Mexican Food, Cafe Della Pace, Seafood, Sushi, and Chili!
I've taken my Dex and now I get ready to shower and apply the numbing cream. Get the IV placed, talk to the Doctor, get down to the chemo floor to start the flow of drugs, rest and receive, then I'll have two lovely ladies from the SGI Cultural Center come chant with me, and finally have the IV removed and proudly walk to the Bell and ring it 3 times. Declare my victory. I am a survivor, I am stronger than I thought I ever could be. The ringing of the bell is not just for me; it's for all the women and men who struggle with all forms of cancer. It is a declaration of Hope. Listen to the Bell ring and never give up Hope, never quit on yourself, never doubt that a cure is coming.
My journey is not finished, but the worst part of it is almost over. The mountain has been climbed, and though it was a difficult assent, I stand a top of the mountain and the view is beyond beautiful, it is breath-takingly spectacular! The journey down will not be easy, but will be easier than the climb. President Ikeada once said, "Live out your life with courage; this is the best path to happiness." I know I have done just that. I challenge you all to do the same in no matter what your struggle is. Courage and hope. Take care of yourself, take care of your family and friends, and take the time to care for strangers in need with courage and hope.
Time to shower!
Nite!
Light and Love!
Melissa
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