It's three days out from my last chemo, and I have to say, I'm really glad this was my last chemo round. It's totally kicking my butt. I haven't been able to move much from the couch except to go to the bathroom or refill my glass with water. I'm so wiped out. The hot flashes are horrendous and the chills are the opposite end of the spectrum. Food tastes awful, and water is the closest thing to real tasting, but still tastes polluted. I feel like I smell like burnt flesh, although Ed swears I don't. I suppose my sense of smell is off as well. The heartburn is worse than ever, and my sleep is disturbed and heavy when I can sleep. I'm hoping that the next couple of days turns around, and my sense of taste returns, and my hot flashes lessen. The only thing I have to hold on to is this is the last chemo treatment, the last time I have to feel like this. It's only up from here.
My son's 15th birthday is Monday, and I would really like to feel human. He has been such a great kid through all of this, and he deserves a great day. His show was extended so he has to perform on his birthday, which is always a mixed blessing. It's great to share the day with your cast members, but you don't get your day with your friends. We'll have to post-pone his birthday party, because I have no idea what he wants to do for his birthday. Thank Goodness he is the type of kid that can roll with the punches. I really couldn't be prouder of him. He has always had to "deal" on one level or another. He seldom complains, and is always there for the hug he knows I need. My Marmaduke.
My daughter continues her work in LA and is so tired from all the Awards shows, and long hours at Modern Family. Now she adds a film to her slate. I am simply amazed at the tenacity of Sarah. She is determined to prevail. She continues to be the role model for this mom to never give up. I love my children and my husband beyond reason. Without their love and support I'd never have made it this far. Without the support of my friends I'd have been a mess. I am so blessed and lucky. So these past few days are just a pain in the can, and will pass, and I will get better, and stronger, and my life will move on to the next phase of healing.
So I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers, chanting, energy, good thoughts, and love, lots of love. It has not gone unnoticed, and it has not been taken for granted.
Nite!~
Light and Love!
Melissa
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