Sorry it's taken me so long to blog about my first chemo treatment. My first treatment began October 13, 2009. Mom and I headed up to the cancer center for my 9am appointment with the oncologist. I was given the all clear to begin so we headed down to the chemo treatment floor. It's a little like being welcome to a spa. "Would you like to take advantage of a massage treatment?" WHAT!? That's like asking if I'd like to continue to breath! Of course, I'm never one to turn down a massage. So we make some tea, and wait for my nurse. They give me a brief tour of the floor; the pantry, the bathrooms, the bell at the desk, the cubicles for treatment complete with personal television, lounge chair, phone, and seat for a guest. A peaceful beautiful space, not at all the feeling of a "treatment" room. The bell at the desk immediately drew my attention. That bell I long to ring. When you have your last treatment, when you are done, you get to ring that bell three times as a symbol of completion. The number three is protective to me. Nam Moyoho Renge Koi three times is also protective. I long for that bell in my hand and I hadn't even started chemo yet.
We sit in the room, and Katy comes in, my chemo nurse. She is just about the most beautiful woman. So kind and her beauty flows easily from the inside out. I'm immediately at ease and know that all will go well. We go over a huge list of things from allergies to side effects, a thorougher explanation of how it's going down today. The trust is locked easily in place, and so we begin. We start with the steroid once the IV is placed in the port, and I'm so very glad that I have a port. I HATE needles, so this is the lesser of two evils. One bag at a time, to check for side effects, bad ones. Then the benadryl, thought I could handle that one, well I was wrong, that kicked my butt! I thought about going to the bathroom about that time, stood up and realized that a bag full of benadryl IV'ed was akin to drinking a whole bottle of Saki in one sitting. I took a snooze, and I hadn't even started the real drugs. Finally, the Herceptin was started, and I made it through with no side effects. This makes me happy for this is the one drug to make the best difference in my recovery. Next the Taxel drips. One drop at a time, looking for the immediate bad side effects. Once I pass the three drip test the infusion begins in earnest. I read, I watch tv, I dose, I get HUNGRY! So we order bento boxes and have a nice lunch. The massage therapist comes in, a gentle soul named Gary, who just might usurp Ed of his foot rubbing position. One of the best foot massages of my life. then the final bag of Carboplatin. Again the drip test, again no bad results, so after 4 hours of chemo, I was sprung. While I was there, the bell was rung. It made me so happy for the woman who rang the bell that I sung out Nam moyoho Renge Koi three times in response and a voice called back, "Thank you!" A victory was won, one woman at a time. I will be that woman in 5 more sessions. I felt pretty good as we left after the long list of what to take if...what to take no matter what....what not to eat, what not to drink, what to eat, drink, etc. etc. etc...So we left loaded down with a lot of reading material and me stoned out of my mind. Finding a cab stoned is interesting. My sense of direction was GONE! Easily I stood on the wrong street for quite sometime, my mother trusting I knew what I was doing. I was getting frustrated and then I realized my mistake. We made it home, and I dumped my heavy reading materials, and my phone rang and it was Rose. "How're you feeling? Feel like SGI tonight?" Oh Yes! So I headed up to Union Square and met Rose and had a great time at SGI, It never fails to give me energy. I felt great and people couldn't believe I had chemo that day. No nausea, no vomiting, no bad side effects. I went home had a lite dinner and went to bed.
Day two October 14, 2009
I woke feeling fuzzy, a headache that has not left since I woke up. I had my oatmeal and my Emend and Dox meds and about an hour later I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and looked in the mirror, RED! My face was in full flush, and within 15 minutes it had spread to my chest. One would have thought I'd spent the whole day at Cooney Island without sunscreen. I put a call into Katy, and when she got back to me the flush had ebbed and it was confirmed it was a definite side effect. not to worry. The day was spent in a three pot bowl state of mind. The meds make me feel that way. I went to the center to get my Neulasta injection. OUCH!!!! it really burns. Then to the Credit Union to deposit money, the post office to send stuff to Sarah and then home. A HUGE day. So tired, I couldn't write a word. Drug myself and Ian to the store for food, and mom made dinner. My mouth has the dry's. So no amount of water helps to moisturize. I use a special mouth rinse and it helps a little. I struggle to stay awake to watch my daughter on Modern Family and it helps to wake me up. It is simply impossible to not laugh at this show. I love this show! I love my daughter and I'm so profoundly proud of her. After the show I cave in to my desire to sleep.
Today, October 15, 2009
The headache remains, and woke me around 5am, I give in and take Tylenol, it doesn't help. So I have my Cheerios and know I need more food before I take my Emend and Dox. So today I do follow up with the surgeon who put in my port, and then I think I'll be very kind to myself and take the day off, and rest as much as I can.
Thank you for following my life, I hope it brings hope to those who need it, and comfort to those who are concerned about me. I'm doing really well, I promise! I can't fail when I'm surrounded by the best team in NYC. TOTAL VICTORY is all that I can see. Thanks for the prayers, keep them coming, and LADIES! please do me a huge favor. If you have not had your mammogram yet, please do it, schedule it, self exam yourself, save your life. Don't take you for granted.
Nite!
Love and Light!
Melissa
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