THE DREADED MIDNIGHT CALL

Just when you think all your ducks are in a row, something comes along and rocks your world. First off, It has nothing to do with my health. I'm fine. Waiting patiently for Chemo to begin next week. The "something" always comes at night, just as you begin to drift off to sleep. It always most certainly comes in the form of a phone call. It is always something that keeps up the rest of the night, like the Boogie Man when you were little. It is always upsetting, and makes a mother crazy. With that said, NO! It is not Sarah. It is rather her friend whom Sarah cares for dearly.

The phone call that rocks your world always begins with the tension in your child's voice, trying to force the tears back. Then the rapid speech that your fuzzy mind can't follow. Then the "What should I do?" I HATE these calls. I don't want them to stop if they are needed, just can't ever seem to get used to them. At first, the information was sketchy, lacking important details. "Are you alright? What's wrong? Calm down, and breathe." Then "Matt is in the hospital. He is in ICU with head trauma. What does that Mean?" Oh Crap! Was it a car accident? Was she with him? Is she alright? SLOW DOWN MELISSA, get the facts, don't go down the scary path and ASSUME! Tell me what you know, Sarah. So as the minutes stretched into hours, the details began to take form for both of us. It turns out that the boys had been playing football, (sans helmets and gear) something they do on a regular basis. Two boys went up for the ball, banged heads, two boys fall to the ground, third boy falls on boy #1 and sinks his knee into Boy #1's head. The classic Bell Rung Syndrome. Matt started with all the symptoms almost immediately, and things turned South quickly. So EMS was called, he was taken to hospital, CT'd, and a drug induced coma was prescribed. And as this young man lay in a hospital bed, my daughter was falling to pieces with fear. There is no worse feeling on Earth to a Mother as she listens to her child crying, feeling helpless and alone, not knowing what she can do to help. The words remained calm, my heart was pounding out of my chest. Please don't drive while you are a mess, we don't need two kids in hospital tonight. Multiple phone calls back and forth, a call to his mom, and a request from FB friends to pray for this boy. Sleep was elusive once again. Much of the rest of the night laying in bed praying and chanting for both of the kids. For Matt's quick recovery and Sarah's peace of mind.

Today was spent mostly on the phone with words of encouragement to Sarah. Matt will be fine, and everything done was done with his best interests in mind. This is what great hospitals do. They do their best. I'm spent from all the energy it takes to do the moral support from 3,000 miles away, but don't regret being there for my daughter in her moment of crisis. And I have to give a special shout out to my FB peeps for jumping on the band wagon so quickly with prayers and support; you all are incredible people. It is so wonderful to know you have my back in any and all turbulent seas.

So, how does this tie to my breast cancer? It dawned on me in the middle of the night just how much I must fight to win and never visit this demon again. My children need me, in some ways now, more than ever. It goes beyond the usual Mommy duty of feeding, hugging, kissing the boo-boo's away. It goes to just how much we are inter-woven. So as the coming months drain me of my energy as I go through chemo and then radiation, I will hold dear to myself the important reason I go through this crap to find health. My kids. They need me, and I need them. I need them to be happy and healthy. I need them to know they can call me in the middle of the night for whatever reason big or small, and I will be there for them. Breast Cancer will not rob my children of my strong broad shoulders to lean on. And in return, I know with all of my heart when I am in my darkest hours they will be there for me with the inner-strength I raised them to have.

I'm just so glad that the Dreaded Midnight Call was about someone else's child and not mine. I know that sounds selfish, but I've had my fair share of those calls, and I don't desire that path anytime soon. I'm just glad that Matt is going to be alright, and that his mother was able to get to his bedside to make things "normal". Nothing like the power of a Mother's love to fix the boo-boo's; physical and emotional.

Nite!
Love and Light!
Melissa