I await the day of my first chemo treatment, and the doctor says I will definitely lose my hair. So I sit pondering, should I shave it before the treatment so I don't feel the pain of it falling out? Or do I wait until it comes out in fistfuls, and then shave it? So as I awake to these thoughts running amuck in my head I open up my email and receive an email from SGI. Today's email talks about President Ikeda coming to New York and how we must reach 10 billion diamoku (nam myoho renge koy) by November 18, 2009. That the anniversary of President Ikeda coming to New York City to spread kosen rufu to the world was on October 13th, 1960. I laugh out loud because that is the day I start chemo, the day I begin to lose my hair. All of my fear and trepidation gone up in smoke. To me this is beyond coincidence. It is a clear sign to me that this is meant to be, to find the better me. How powerful can it be that same date I begin chemo is the same date 49 years ago that the President of SGI came here to spread joy to New Yorkers and the world. So now I can't wait, it has become a day to look forward to. October 13 will become the day I take on true Buddha-hood. I am happy to lose my hair, my new way to find myself, ever evolving to the best that I can be.
I don't know if I'll have the energy to go to the services that day after chemo, but I hope I have enough to just walk in for a small period of time. Oct. 13th is a big celebration for the 49th anniversary of President Ikeda's first visit. The energy on that night will undoubtedly be amazing and the healing power unstoppable. So even 5 minutes will be important to me. I will try, try my best to go. It just has too much meaning to me now.
Nite!
Love and Light!
Melissa
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