Day one without Ed, 6 days to surgery. I woke to a horrid headache, Tylenol just hasn't cut it. I can't take Advil, I can't take Excedrin Migraine, too close to the surgery date. I am a good bleeder, so I won't take chances 6 days out. I'm so grumpy because the pain is annoying. I sat on the couch not wanting to do anything. Then Elyssa called and lured me out to sit in the park at Sty-town. I'm glad I did. It was fun to reconnect, and even though it was for a short period of time, it was well worth it. I headed up to MDR to pick up the last of my films for Dr. Axelrod. Got to see the girls behind the desk, and tell them, once again, THANK YOU. I'm serious, this place is the best. They know how to give care, complete care, mind, body, and spirit. This is how it should be done. Then I walked on this beautiful day down to Dr. Axelrod's office, Films in hand, eager to get past the next 6 days. I dropped off the film and headed for home. The headache overwhelming me. I have things to do, but the pain is taking me down.
When I think of surgery I'm nervous but excited at the same time. I want this out of me, this invader, intruder. It's becoming real, and what comes next is only a strange vague thing. The future is set, yet too much is still unknown. I have to work on patience, be present, not too far a head of myself.
I forgot the humor, so here it is. I went for a front closing bra at Paragon Sports. It is confusing at best, because every company has their sizing. I couldn't find my size 36 C. An older woman who must have worked there her entire adult life (meaning forever!) asks me if I need help. I do. So I tell her I'm looking for a 36C bra with a front closure, because I'm having breast surgery. So she starts handing me 38DD's I'm like,
Melissa: "Um...that will be too big. I'm having surgery, it has to be tight."
Salesclerk: "Yes, you will be going to swell, so you will need bigger size."
Melissa: "No, I'll be going down in size, I need it to be tight."
Salesclerk: "Okay, Here, 38D"
Melissa: "Maybe you didn't hear me right, 36 C, C as in Cat, not D as in Dog. 36 C"
Salesclerk: "Okay, I'll call upstairs and have them send down a 38D"
Melissa: "ARRRGGGGHHHH! Why don't you hear what I'm saying? I am a 36 C, alright my left breast is almost a D cup, but I wear a 36 C. I NEED A 36 C. Alright? Just give me what I want, not what you think I need."
So this went on and on. I'd walk away from her, but here she'd come following with front closing bras with dozens of hook and eye closures. I need a zipper, I won't be able to do the hooks and eyes. I finally cave in and let her give me all of these bras. I go to the dressing room, put on the first bra and got so tangled up in it that I couldn't put it on, let alone take it off. I threw it across the room is frustration. So I put on the bra that she swore up, down, left, and right would not fit, would be too small, a MEDIUM a 36A-D CUP and low and behold a perfect fit. Found! At last! So I redress, leave the dressing room and she stops me.
Salesclerk :"the 38D was right, yes?"
Melissa:"No, the Medium was just right."
Oh-oh, here we go again...."Thanks, I'm going now." Come on Ian, let's go before she tackles me and makes me put on the hook and eye bra. I'll never get out it. I laughed at how as well meaning a person she was, she really got in the way of what was supposed to be simple. Now that I've had time to think about it, I think she thought I was getting a breast enhancement. Oh Lawrds. Can you see me with DD's? WTF!???
Nite!
Love and Light
Melissa
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