September 1, 2009 Tuesday

Well, after a sleepless night, thanks ever so much Blue and Niki, I woke at 6:30am and got ready to go back to what is becoming my place, Manhattan Diagnostic Radiology. Ed and I were both ready to strangle the cats. Of all nights, they decided that pushing their playtoys under the scale I keep in my room was a fun activity. We'd remove them, they'd bring the toys back in and do the same thing over and over again. Shutting them out meant a room with no air, so finally Ed removed the scale. We humans are pretty slow. So tired, stressed out, and reluctant, I had Ed drive me to the center. I had the stereotactic on the left side today and that went okay...not great, why would it be? It hurts. The good side of it, I didn't bleed too much, just a little. Thank God. It did hurt though, I felt the biopsy needle even through the numbing meds. So I bit down and asked for more meds. It didn't help, but Dr. Scheer was almost done, so I just had to take it. Bitch. Soon it was over, and I did my time in compression, did my post mammo and went back in to see if the doctor could find the spot that lit up on my MRI from Friday. A small spot, hard to see, but worth a try on ultra sound. She searched and searched, but Lumpy, Jr. would not come out of his hiding place. The little B*st*rd. So it was decided to do the MRI biopsy. I dressed, scheduled the MRI and got my films and reports for Dr Axelrod's appointment later in the day and got out of there in record time. So the first time I ever left there in under 2 hours. MIRACLE!!!! So I got to go home, rest, eat, and kiss my son good luck before his Callback for an episodic (won't tell you so's not to jinx it) and was able to get to Dr Axelrod's on time, rested and ready to get the news, whatever it may be.

Ed met me at the Surgery appointment, and I got to say NYU knows how to do this WHOLE patient thingy. It's so civilized and relaxed. They put the patient first. How many times can someone say that? So I met my team today. Nurse Michelle, Dr. Axelrod, and a host of names I'll eventually get down. I've always been bad at names, never forget a face, but the names...anywho...I did my history, blah, blah,blah, and then Dr. Axelrod came in, she remembered me from lo those many years ago. Thank God! It made me relax right away. I couldn't believe it. So we talked, she looked at the films, my boobs, my neck, my armpits, and did a needle biopsy under my armpit. All i can say is , "OUCH!" But compared to everything I've been through so far, more annoying than awful. We talked some more about my Mr. Lumpy. Want to know what she said? I know you do. So here is the good news.

1. Mr. Lumpy is not estrogen or progesterone sensitive. VERY GOOD

2.Mr. Lumpy is about 2cm big

3. My armpit nodes were Negative. VERY VERY GOOD

4. My lypoma is finally going to get removed. VERY VERY VERY GOOD NEWS.

Note for those who don't know about my lypoma: When Ian was about 3 or 4 we were holding hands and crossing the street, I stepped in a hole started to fall; Ian started to fall and would have face planted in the pavement below, so I stuck my arm out as only Mother's are known to do and broke his fall and dislocated my shoulder. Super ouch. But after that the shoulder was a major mess. I had PT to strengthen the muscles, and when all was said and done, I developed what I called "My Third Boob". It has grown over the years and has been the bane of my life for years. It makes my right shoulder roll forward, causes numbness in my arm, and pulls my neck out of alignment all the time, and yet the insurance company told the surgeon it would be cosmetic and therefore they would not pay for it.

Well, = P that Insurance. It's coming off. Part of treatment and I didn't even have to ask for it.

Bad news is

1. Mr. Lumpy is an aggressive growing Pr*ck

2. I have to have more tests. Of course

3. I have to meet with another surgeon for the lypoma

So-So news

I'll be getting a port, so don't look at my chest when you see me and wonder what the heck that bump is? It's the place I'll be getting meds for the next year.

What makes Life worth Living?

Ian ~ when I told him I couldn't be there to see him off for the first day of school, his response was "That's okay, Mom, Instead of seeing me off to school, I'll see you off for treatment." I love that kid.

Ed~ just for always being there and uber protective. I love that man

Barbara ~ for the kickin' socks and lovely card

Cheryl ~ for being my Breast Angel and giving me the best Breast Cancer Kit EVER!

Sarah ~ for trying to call me today. 3000 miles away and yet she still is thinking of me. Gotta love that from a newly sprung teenager.

All of You ~ for everything you do in supporting me in all the small ways that mean so much.

A clean meal tonight and then in the morning...Pet and Pem Scans. Life was good today. I got good news. Surgery will be scheduled most likely the week of Sept. 20. Hang in there gang, I'll be through the worst of it soon enough. F*ck you Mr. Lumpy!!!! See ya, Mr. Lumpy, wouldn't want to be ya.

Nite all

Melissa