Today I met the Dragon, my financial dragon. It's called Excelling your Medical expenses. I do this every year, and because I am always so healthy, and we usually don't have to worry about insurance because my hubby is just the most talented guy out there. He has always qualified for insurance, but this year's excel spread sheet took my breath away. Made me want to puke, and then made me want to march to Washington and shove every dang piece of medical EOB and bill for COBRA, every deductible, co-pay, out of pocket expense, yada yada yada right up the noses of the Mean-spirited, Insurance lobby loving, out-of-touch Republicans who think Public Option will f*ck up good hard working American citizens. You know the kind, the ones who want you to believe that Insurance companies don't dictate to you as to whom you can see. The ones who think they know better than a doctor who actually went to school, got in major debt, did tireless hours as Interns and Residents and had to prove themselves over and over again. Yea, those jerks who make billions of dollars. Oh God, I'm on a rant. Stop me now before I drive right off the cliff!
Any way....I walked away, I am calmer now. Being pissed off doesn't fix things. Worrying about money won't make the bills go away. I have to adopt the attitude I had so many years ago when the bills were piling up on us when Sarah was a baby and our second home was the Ronald McDonald House. We would laugh hard; sick laughter that would rack our lungs, make us cry, hurt our tummies, and make us dizzy. Fine! charge us. Try to get blood out of a stone. Every creditor had to stand in my bread line as I doled out $5 a month to each and everyone of them, with the exception of the Number 1 bill. They got $20 a month until it was paid off. Then the next in line got the $20 and so forth and so on. It took years, but we got it paid down. I remember that time, and it seems peculiar that we find ourselves back in this pickle now that Sarah has pretty much flown the coop.
Life moves in cycles. For two years, Ed couldn't get arrested for stage work (our bread and butter), so we lost AEA insurance, we were lucky enough for Ed to have an ad running, so that saved us and we got SAG insurance (for a year), but a year is 12 months and Ed was out of work for 24 months. We lost SAG insurance, went COBRA and if not for the support of our wonderfully awesome Union at the Actors Fund, well, I don't know what we would have done. We had our little jobs here and there to stay afloat, but not enough to cover $735 a month. We used up our savings, the economy sucked. Everyone who found out Ed was out of work in the industry said the same thing, "Boy, If Ed can't find work, the economy must be really bad!"
So we moved into the "work cycle" this year as President Obama took office. Our fortunes seemingly changing. Ed had the honor of working at The Ford's Theater in The Heavens Are Hung In Black and got to perform for Sen. Harry Reid. Sen. Reid took them on a private tour of the Senate. Very exciting and Ed said he never felt more patriotic in his life. He was out of town, but we had good money coming in. Then he came home for a little bit of time and left again for Pittsburgh where he starred in Harry's Friendly Service at Pittsburgh Public. We actually began to feel as if we could breathe. Our savings were returning. Bills were paid without robbing Peter to pay Paul. Ed was out of town, but we are used to that. Then the unthinkable, Mr. Lumpy. Remember when you were kids and you would go swimming and you'd start to horse around and there was always that one kid, the bully, who would take things too far? He'd dunk you, you'd come up laughing only to be plunged down again and held there without enough air, gulping in water, and you'd panic and finally the bully would let you up just long enough to gasp and down you'd go again. Well, that is Mr. Lumpy. Savings dwindling faster than ever, Ed has to work out of town, he can't be here to help me recover. He won't be here to hold my hand, hold my head. That dubious honor goes to my mom. In some ways Ed is lucky, he won't see the ugliness of the aftermath for 6 weeks, only on the days off. I don't mean to be down trodden, but this is where I am right now. Sour grapes. It's hard to be Miss Mary Sunshine all the time. So please let me feel this anguish without judgement. It's not a sign of weakness on my part, actually it's a sign of strength. I'm not denying anything. I promise to find the joy in tomorrow. I just need to get away from the paperwork. Congress needs to pass the Health Reform Bill yesterday. And the ignorant people of our Country need to quit listening to bigots and nut jobs who fill the airways with unchecked "facts". The truth lies somewhere between the sheets. I'm not saying that the Left is right and the Right is wrong; no, somewhere in the middle is the truth, the right thing, the MORAL thing, the HUMAN thing. Congress is forgetting why they were sent there by us. They were elected to protect us from the evils of this world. Not to go to bed with corporate lobbyists and line their pockets with gold, and have the most amazing health insurance policy in the country, for LIFE. Even after they are no longer a member of Congress. Dems and Reps, they both have this, why can't we? WE pay taxes. What ever happened to "Of the People, By the People, For the People"
Nite!
Love and Light
Melissa
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